The Biggest Dating Myths Ruining Your Relationships – Best Life

Relationships are tough enough. You need to decode your emotions, communicate them effectively, and engage with your partner in a way that doesn’t lead to disappointment or heartbreak. But these things are even more difficult when misinformation abounds. According to countless advice columnists and relationship gurus, there are a number of dating and relationship “rules.” But experts tell us that most of them are fake. Read on for the dating myths therapists say ruin relationships and learn how to stop these instinctive behaviors before they even start. A healthier approach to romance begins now.

READ NEXT: 5 red flags for relationships everyone is missing, experts warn.

A young couple on a date sitting in a park chatting and smiling

The idea that you should contain your excitement about a budding relationship so you don’t look “distressed” is a total myth. “While there’s certainly a degree of that that can be true — for example, proposing on a first date might not necessarily be the best idea — it’s more important for you to be yourself,” she says Janet Park, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Healing Phoenix Therapy in Los Angeles. “Playing ‘cool’ too much can send mixed messages about our dating interests and reinforce a lack of openness with each other and create barriers to healthy communication.”

Additionally, there’s nothing wrong with expressing that you’re looking for a long-term or serious relationship. “Honest communication and respect for your needs and those of your partner are important components of a healthy relationship,” adds Park. “It’s important to start early and filter out dating prospects who aren’t responding.” If the person you’re dating sees that openness as desperation, then it may not be right for you.

Couple on opposite sides of bed not speaking

We’ve all heard the “rule” that you should never go to bed angry with your partner. Relationship therapists say that’s not true. “Setting deadlines when you need to resolve conflicts puts pressure on an already challenging situation, and it can lead to a rather unsafe truce,” says the clinical psychologist Carissa Coulston. “If you haven’t taken the time to come to a natural agreement and conclusion, neither party is going to be comfortable or happy with the situation.” When that happens, it can end up keeping the issue — what your relationship is with of time can piss you off because you’ll never really get to the bottom of the problem.

READ NEXT: Most couples stop being “in love” after that long, experts say.

Couples quarreling and arguing, preparing children for divorce

No, it’s not normal for your partner to get angry when you drive into town with co-workers or text buddies. And no, it’s definitely not a sign of their love. “This can be a dangerous assumption when dating, because jealousy is usually a sign of insecurity and an attempt to control your actions,” she says Ellie Borden, registered psychotherapist and clinical director of Mind By Design. “Although it’s normal to occasionally feel jealous, your partner’s excessive jealousy could mean they’re unsure of your relationship and could also be a sign of emotional abuse.” Rather than writing off their actions, see them for the red flags, who they are.

Man putting engagement ring on woman

If your relationship feels stagnant or on the decline, proposing or getting pregnant won’t make it any better. “This is a myth that crops up in long-term relationships and can lead to unhappiness and ultimately a more complicated breakup if the couple thinks the issue could go away on its own,” says Borden. “In reality, it’s important to work through your… issues directly and respectfully, and determine if the relationship is worth saving, rather than assuming greater commitment will save.” [it].” Couples counseling can help you make these decisions.

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elderly white couple in couples therapy

Speaking of couples counseling, that doesn’t mean your relationship is in a tough spot. “Seeking therapy isn’t a sign that your relationship is pretty much over, it’s actually a sign that you’re interested in making things more effective and correcting things that are going wrong,” says Coulston. “Couples should see couples counseling as a preventive measure, not a cure. Waiting for all the good in the relationship to fade is tantamount to disaster, but by getting help at the first sign of potential cracks, you can seize the opportunity to grow closer as a couple and learn new ways to resolve conflicts in a healthier, more constructive manner. “

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